Cowgirl Dreamer (Dalton Boys Book 10) Page 13
She felt a deep resentment for what Blackburn had done to her. Even if the man had reason to worry about what had happened between his daughter and the cowpoke, that didn’t make it right to slap her with the same thing.
She wasn’t Josie.
With a thumb hitched in her front pocket, she set out to the paddock. She hoped Noble hadn’t taken the horse she preferred again. She didn’t know if she was annoyed that he’d tried to protect her or touched by it. If it’d been her cousin or brother, she’d hold a grudge for a week.
She’d been thinkin’ long and hard on the thing with the family ranch. She’d been waiting to be asked to join the outfit, but maybe that was her error. She should have taken initiative and asked to be given a chance. She’d already thought up half a dozen ways to save money on the ranch, and that was more in each man’s pocket. She could streamline areas and work on bigger contracts too. Both of which would benefit the entire family working and living on the Dalton Ranch.
When she reached the paddock and spotted the horse of her choosing, a smile spread over her face. Noble had left it instead of taking it out on the trail with the others today.
She coaxed the mare out with a treat and then saddled it. The animal was getting tamer by the day, and by the time she left the Blackburn, it would probably be one of the best horses they had for working the herd.
She hoped she was given credit for some of it after she was gone.
The summer was going faster than she’d ever imagined. They only had a few weeks left until the decision was made, but Gracie’s mind was pretty much made up. She knew she was leaving, and she was okay with the outcome. She wasn’t walking away with nothing for all the work she’d put in—she’d improved her skills and learned things about herself.
Like she could fall in love.
Sighing, she mounted the horse and rode out with the other guys, Vin at the lead. She watched the cowboys interact, ribbing each other and joking about what they’d get for lunch if they didn’t get back in time. She felt far removed from the banter.
She was so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t realize Vin had dropped back to ride alongside her till he spoke.
“You’ve done real good with that horse,” he said.
“Wasn’t all my doing,” she answered.
He eyed her from under the brim of his Stetson.
“What is it?” she asked.
“You know Blackburn wants you permanent.”
She bristled at the name. When she didn’t answer, Vin looked out between his mount’s ears and rode along in silence.
She threw him a look. Could she confide in him? He’d been a little like Langtry—a favorite uncle in her eyes. But she didn’t know how deep the man’s loyalties lay. He was a Blackburn man, had been a long time, and was likely to be in the man’s pocket. He must be, if he knew about her employment status.
So what if she spoke her mind to him? He could do with it what he wanted, and if that was to carry her words back to Blackburn, what did she care? The ranch owner deserved whatever she had to say.
“He only wants me on conditions,” she said.
He looked around to her, and his shoulders slumped a bit. “I heard.”
“Just because he gave his daughter a choice and she didn’t take the one he thought she would, doesn’t give him the right to do it to me. Noble and I have kept to ourselves, and our work hasn’t suffered.”
“That’s true enough, but you gotta see Blackburn’s point.”
“No, I don’t,” she bit off. She gripped the reins too tight, and the horse danced a bit in reaction. She relaxed and loosened her hold.
“I loved Josie like my own daughter, and it hurt when she turned away from her birthright to go off with that cowpoke.”
“That’s not me. And it’s not Noble.”
“Blackburn’s just protecting the ranch. He’s got to get the right people in place in order to make it run smooth.”
“I don’t think I’ll stay on even if he took away the contingency clause. I don’t like bein’ told what to do with my personal life.”
“That’s your right to go, but this is a life you’re not likely to get many other places.”
“I’ve got my family’s ranch.”
“True.”
“Haven’t you ever wanted more, Vin? A family, a life outside these pastures?”
He looked across the breathtaking view. “Nope. This is all I’ve ever known and all I’ve ever wanted. But if it’s not your dream, get out now. Noble already did.”
She jerked her head around to stare at him. “What?”
“He left this morning, took off in the wee hours before anybody woke.”
“I thought he rode out with the guys on the trails.”
“Nope, they left right after he did.”
Her breath hitched as fear took hold. He’d left without even saying goodbye to her? She’d felt how untamed his lovemaking was the day before and wondered at his mental state. But she never would have guessed he would leave this way.
Without telling her.
Everything she knew about her world right now seemed to be in the manure pile, and she wasn’t sure which way was up. Her ability to make a confident decision was in the toilet too.
For now, all she could do was what was asked of her, and that was to move the herd. She’d figure out the rest when the time came, but knowing that didn’t make the situation any easier.
And Noble was still gone.
* * * * *
Noble ripped his hat off his head and sank his fingers into his hair. Could this day get any worse? First, he’d been woken before dawn by one of his dad’s neighbors calling to say he found his father lying on the floor in the garage and he’d been taken to the hospital.
Now, the doctors were jerking him around about telling him what the real problem was. At first, they’d suspected his father suffered a stroke. But after the tests came out fine, they questioned his heart health. When that came back normal as well, they just told Noble they were running more tests.
Leaving him grinding his teeth and wanting to throw chairs in the waiting room.
He paced a few times before dropping into a hard seat again. Then he leaned his elbows on his knees and closed his eyes. The prayers revolving around in his mind weren’t giving him any peace, but that was usually the case for him.
He’d seen his father only briefly after arriving at the hospital, but they’d quickly whisked him off for scans of his head. All Noble knew was he was about to lose his mind sitting here wondering if he’d ever see his dad alive again.
If he’d ever get a chance to say the words he should have been saying all along.
And he’d left the ranch in such a rush, he hadn’t considered how it looked to the others. They would have woken to find him gone, his stuff too, and it looked as though he’d taken off.
Gracie would believe that of him, he was sure of it. The woman was skeptical of everything when it came to his feelings about her, and well, she was just going to have to learn to live with the fact he was in love with her.
Right after he made sure his dad was all right, he’d call her.
She’d be in the field right now, laboring in the heat over the fence or training up the horses… probably believing the worst of him.
He compressed his lips and leaped from the chair to pace the room again. A couple other people sat waiting for news of their loved ones, and they threw him looks, which he ignored. He had far too much energy to sit here waiting.
When he walked out of the space, he veered toward the front desk. A woman looked up from her computer screen.
“I’m going out for some air. If there’s news about my father, I’ll be right back in.”
“All right, sir.”
Feeling far older than his years from both her addressing him by sir and the weight of responsibilities and worries on his shoulders, he walked out. The hot Texas air struck him, and he broke out in a sweat instantly.
Maybe it was
a good time to try to reach Gracie.
But he knew she wouldn’t have her phone on her in the field. She often left it behind, of the old-fashioned mindset that all she needed was her horse and some rope.
If only those things would help him right now. He’d never felt so helpless and out of his element.
He paced outside the doors for a while, before meandering down the sidewalk and ending up at a small garden. A memorial bench stood there, inviting a person to sit if he had a mind to, but Noble didn’t.
He needed to gallop, to feel the wind on his face and hear the hooves matching to the rhythm of his heart.
He needed Gracie.
He took out his phone and dialed her number.
It rang three times before going to voicemail. For a second, he considered leaving a message but couldn’t figure out what to say, so he just hung up.
He walked over and kicked the leg of the bench, the sole of his boot ringing off the metal. Dammit. If he lost her… If he lost his father…
He turned and went back inside the hospital. The waiting room had filled up a bit more, with a young family there with a child on the mother’s lap. It was impossible for Noble not to look at them and think of how it would be to have that with Gracie, to make her his wife and share children and a life.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sat again, no less calm than before his step outside.
The morning seemed to drag on from minutes to hours. He found himself thinking of the Blackburn and all the chores to be done he was missing. He could picture Gracie working away, in the saddle with that sexy roll of her hips that always had him hard for her. Her long hair would be bound into her usual braid and bouncing on her spine.
Then she’d look up and catch him staring and offer him one of her smiles that twisted him all up.
He took out his phone, thinking to text her instead, but just then, a nurse appeared and called his name.
He jumped up and strode to the doorway.
“We’ve gotten some more tests back on your father. The doctor will explain everything to you if you’ll come this way.”
She walked around a corner and into the space partitioned off by curtains. His father was lying in bed, hooked up to an IV but awake.
He spotted Noble and winced. “You shouldn’t have come, Son.”
“Don’t be an ass, Dad. Of course I had to be here.” He sank to a chair by the bed and looked at his old man, who was giving him a ghost of a grin.
If he was dying, he was going out as his usual cantankerous self, that was certain. Noble clung to it.
The nurse took her leave, saying the doctor would be in to speak with them in a minute.
Noble rested his hand over his dad’s where it lay on the hospital bed. It felt dry and rough. “I had to come.”
“Don’t lose your place on the Blackburn on my account.”
“Don’t worry about the Blackburn, okay? What happened in the garage?”
“Can’t remember. I woke up to Pete grabbing my shoulder and shaking me. I think he thought me dead. Poor old bastard.”
“Pete’s a good friend. Why did he check on you so early this morning?”
“I was supposed to go up to his place last night and have a beer with him. Sometimes we have a game of cards too.”
Noble put it all together in his mind and nodded. “Good thing he checked on you. I should have been around, and I’m sorry.”
His father fixed him in his stare. “You gotta give yourself the best chance at life, Son, and that’s on the Blackburn.”
“Dad… If I don’t stay on the Blackburn, it doesn’t mean I’ve thrown my life away. It simply means I’ve taken another path.”
“With that Dalton girl o’ yours.” His voice was a little raspy, and it concerned Noble that he was taxing his dad too much with the conversation.
He bowed his head. “I love her, Dad.”
This time his father touched the back of his hand and gave a squeeze that was stronger than Noble could have hoped for. He met his father’s gaze.
“Sometimes love’s enough. It was for me with your ma, and she’s the reason I left the cowboy life.”
Noble’s brow shot up. “You never told me you left for Mom.”
“Loved her. I had no choice. I couldn’t live without her.”
His throat clamped off. “I feel the same about Gracie.”
“Things will work out the way they’re s’posed to, Noble.”
He had to take shallow breaths to keep his emotions in check. Then the doctor flipped open the curtain and entered the space.
“Well, Mr. Watkins, you’re one lucky man. When the paramedics picked you up, your blood sugar was in a critical range.”
Noble blinked at the doctor. “Blood sugar?”
“Yes, it appears your father’s a diabetic. Were you aware, Mr. Watkins?”
He shook his head. “I don’t feel sick, so I didn’t go to the doctor.”
“When was your last checkup?”
“Coupla years, I guess.”
“Well, it’s good to have regular checkups for precisely this reason. Your bloodwork shows you’re very much a diabetic and should be under a physician’s care. How are you feeling now that we’ve got some glucose and fluids into you?”
“Feel fine,” his father stated.
Noble felt sweat of relief trickle down his spine to wet his shirt. His father wasn’t going to die, and the worst possible cases—stroke or heart attack—had been ruled out for a disease that would take some management but his father was capable of living with for years to come.
He listened to all the instructions the doctor gave and took the prescriptions he’d printed out for his father to get filled. Noble would go pick them up to ensure his stubborn old man had no excuses not to take care of his health.
“We’ll keep you a bit longer and monitor you to make sure you’re stable, and then you can go home, Mr. Watkins,” the doctor said.
Noble gave him a nod of appreciation and when they were alone, he turned to his father. “Guess you’re gonna live.”
“Yeah, good thing. Somebody’s gotta give you sound advice, boy. Now get on back to the Blackburn and do your job and do it to the best of your ability.”
“I’ll get the prescriptions and drop them off at home for ya.”
“Thanks, Noble. Don’t worry about me, now, got it? I’ve been takin’ care of this old body for sixty-four years. Time for you to go after what you want in life.”
“Even if that doesn’t include the Blackburn Ranch?”
His father gave a nod. “Even then.”
Noble stood, his smile stretching from ear to ear. He was going after Gracie and wasn’t taking no for an answer—he was going to make her his own.
* * * * *
Fence duty wasn’t near as fun without Noble to rival. Since he wasn’t here, she didn’t care how many posts she drove in or how many miles of wire she stretched between them.
She still put her back into the work and did it well, but her time for caring was up. If she was honest, she was flat out depressed. Her goal of having this position permanently was within grasp—but with conditions set that she wasn’t willing to compromise on.
She wasn’t selling her soul to have the job.
And Noble obviously hadn’t thought enough of her to wake her and tell her goodbye. All those times he’d dangle a hand down over the top bunk, sometimes tugging her hair, and he couldn’t have managed to wake her?
She heaved a sigh, and Langtry fixed her in his sights.
Oh shit. Here he comes.
He sidled over. The man was chiseled from stone and held together by lassos and bullwhips. If the Blackburn Ranch had a poster boy, Langtry would be it.
She continued to work as he approached.
“Take a break, Dalton. Have some water.”
“I don’t need a break, thanks.”
“Then that heavy sigh you just gave ain’t for the sledgehammer and the heat?”
Sh
e didn’t answer, just swung the hammer again.
“Think we all know what’s wearin’ on ya, girl. I’m sorry for it. I thought better of him.”
Her instinct was to jerk her head up and lay into the foreman, but she resisted. Head down, she kept working, swinging the sledgehammer in a rhythm that was the only thing holding her together right now.
“If you need to talk, you know where to find me.”
She nodded, grateful when Langtry walked off. She hefted the sledgehammer to the ground and leaned on the handle a moment, swiping sweat from her eyes.
Being raised in a big family made it hard for her at times to deal with issues alone. When she’d have a bad day at school, she would go home and tell her family. Her brothers would threaten to beat people up on her behalf, and soon she’d be giggling as they demonstrated their moves on pillows in her bedroom. Then her sisters would bring her their favorite stuffed animals and drinks of chocolate milk to soothe her. Both of her parents would give her plenty of hugs whenever she was distressed.
Even friends like Andie had helped lift any burdens from her life.
But out here, she was truly alone. She liked these guys well enough, and she might have formed some makeshift family with them all if she stayed on. But Blackburn had tainted the entire thing for her, and now she didn’t care where she ended up after the summer was through.
She’d probably work at some crappy corporate job, putting her degree to use pushing numbers to improve production on something she couldn’t care less about.
Her passion lay in ranchin’, pure and simple.
She nudged her hat back a bit and looked out over the line of cowpokes working the fence. By the end of the day, they’d be darn near finished with this section. Looking at the achievement now gave her warm feelings. Miles of new fence had been erected. She’d had a hand in most of it, and she was proud of her efforts. Long after she left the Blackburn Ranch, the fence would remain for years to come.
It was a small legacy but one she could own with pride.
When Langtry called a break to all, and they gathered at the back of the truck to grab jugs of water and tea, Gracie leaned against the tailgate and sipped, deep in thought.