Diesel (Dark Falcons Book 4) Read online

  Well, he could guess as to why. Was he some sort of pimp, running a brothel or what? The mere idea had Diesel wanting to break bones.

  Silently, Selena quickly drank the rest of the water, which made him wonder at what else she’d endured. She was thinner—had she been starved?

  There were too many question marks and no way to receive answers yet. He tried to focus on the positives. She was here. Alive. All their men were accounted for and on the road home to their loved ones.

  The negatives flooded in. Of course he couldn’t think of all the good things without the bad. He wasn’t made up that way.

  She was damaged, maybe irreparably. She’d been forced to do things against her will. He still didn’t know if she could forgive him for their argument he couldn’t help but think started it all.

  He closed his eyes against the torrent of emotions surging in him.

  Then he felt Selena’s soft fingers close around his.

  Selena’s insides shook, and that extended to the outside. As shudders racked her, she gritted her teeth against the painful sensation.

  Kenzo, if he was alive, would go after her sister again. Oh God, what had she done?

  “Selena, what can I do?” The hopeless tone of Diesel’s voice brought tears to her eyes. He looked ready to jump out of the seat and battle Kenzo’s entire compound of guards for her, and she had no doubt he would do exactly that.

  She opened her mouth, but her teeth started to chatter.

  “Fuck!” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his lap. God, he was warm and felt so good—solid steel he’d used to save her—and she knew he’d do anything to protect her, both then and now.

  She curled into his hold, and he flexed his arms, bringing her tight to his chest. She hated feeling so helpless and pathetic.

  “I’m not…weak,” she pushed the words past her trembling lips.

  “Never,” he murmured against her hair.

  “I bashed Kenzo over the head with a-a l-lamp. He might be dead.”

  She felt Diesel’s chest swell as he dragged in a big breath of air. “Kenzo? Is that the fucker’s name?”

  She nodded, rubbing her forehead against his leather vest he called a cut. The mark of a Dark Falcon. The leather felt good against her skin, and smelled good too, imbued with his personal male musk as well as its inherent scent. She closed her eyes and let him hold her.

  “Y-you don’t know how many times I dreamed of this,” she managed to say.

  He made a noise deep in his throat, like his vocal cords were severing. Then she felt his lips brush across her hair.

  A sense of calm infused her. He cared, and that was all she needed right now. That and his strength to hold her up until she could stand on her own. She didn’t mind her moment of weakness so much knowing that the traumas of the day would move through her and she would be able to breathe again soon.

  The rest of the drive seemed to fly by, with her snuggled in Diesel’s lap and his arms around her. She’d forgotten how roped they were with muscle and how his hard chest became her personal pillow.

  When they slowed and stopped, Diesel caressed her spine with his big hand. “Honey, we’re here at the clubhouse. Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?”

  She was still wearing the stupid high heels. “I can manage.”

  The van doors opened, and men began jumping out.

  She started to slide off his lap, and he settled her next to him on the seat. Slowly, she moved to the door, got her footing and clutched the long dress in one hand to keep from falling over it.

  Stupid, useless garment. Now she wanted nothing more than to set it on fire as soon as possible in order to forget all of Kenzo’s commands. When she thought of the man, she envisioned his face in a state of unconsciousness and her stomach burned.

  She started to lower her foot to the ground, and suddenly Diesel was there before her, holding out his hands for her. She tipped into his hold and he lowered her to her feet.

  People began pouring out of the clubhouse, all of them staring at her with shock on their faces. Did she really look so horrid? She’d knocked a man unconscious, escaped to the basement where she’d spent a long time in the cold space hiding among spiderwebs and dust. She wouldn’t win any beauty pageants.

  A woman emerged from between the broad shoulders of two Dark Falcons, set her gaze on Selena and gave a cry. Fiona hurried forward and gathered her into her arms.

  “Thank God you’re safe! I knew they’d get you out. What on earth are you wearing? Come with me. Diesel?” She looked to him.

  He hesitated to answer. “Selena, do you want to go with her? I can come with you.”

  Her stomach hurt thinking about being separated from the man she’d longed for so much, yet she knew Fiona would make her feel more like herself with a set of clean, normal clothes and a hairbrush than anybody could.

  She nodded. “I’ll be okay,” she said softly.

  He didn’t touch her but searched her eyes. “I’ll find you in a few minutes.”

  Fiona enveloped her with an arm around her shoulders and led her through the throng of Dark Falcons clad in black and leather and a group of women who hung in the club as well as the members’ old ladies.

  Selena had never felt completely as though she belonged here, yet…it was a homecoming, and a welcome one.

  She allowed Fiona to lead her away to her own home which was only a short walk from the clubhouse. It felt good to be in the open Tennessee air. She hadn’t had exercise or air in a month.

  Thinking of Kenzo heaped on fears about her sister. He’d go after Alexus. As soon as Selena cleaned up, she’d tell Diesel the whole story and maybe he could help with keeping her sister safe.

  But as soon as she walked out of Fiona’s house wearing jeans and a comfortable sweatshirt, as well as borrowed sneakers, she found Diesel waiting for her on his bike. Wordlessly, he handed her a helmet.

  She strapped it on and climbed onto his bike, like old times. But nothing was the same.

  Nearly an hour later, when they pulled up to the simple cabin-style house tucked between mountains and forest, Selena realized what was going on—Diesel was hiding her.

  She didn’t think she could feel more of a surge of relief than she already had experienced twice before—when she heard his voice in that dim basement or after Fiona helped her out of that godforsaken gown and into regular clothes—but she sagged against his back.

  He cut the bike’s engine. “This is my sister’s place.”

  “Does she know we’re coming?”

  “I texted her before we left.”

  She moved away from him enough to allow him to climb off the bike, but her stupid legs refused to work.

  Diesel stared at her for a moment. “Honey, I want to help you, if you’ll allow me.”

  So this was what her life had been reduced to—the man she wanted more than anything in the world this past month was afraid of how she may react.

  “I got it.” She slipped off the bike and her borrowed sneakers hit the gravel driveway.

  He extended a hand but drew it back against his side. “Come on. My sister is married to a Marine, who’s in South Korea right now. But she lives here with their two-year-old son Brady.”

  She followed him up to the door. Before they reached the inviting wooden entrance, the door opened to reveal a woman holding a toddler in her arms. She was petite with pale brown curls framing her face, and it was obvious the big, strong boy was a handful to her straining arms.

  When Brady spotted Diesel, he threw himself forward. His mother barely kept him from hurling himself to the ground before Diesel rushed forward to take him from her. They traded a grin and Diesel turned his attention to the toddler.

  “Hey, champ.”

  “Fishin’!” he cried, setting one little boy hand on each of Diesel’s broad shoulders. Clearly they were cut from the same cloth, and Brady would most likely be as big as his uncle someday.

  Diesel chuckled. “Yo
u remember that, huh? Okay, we can go fishing later, I promise.”

  He wrapped his arms around Diesel’s neck and squeezed tight, his little eyes pinched shut with happiness.

  Selena had never seen anything so beautiful in her life as this boy’s love for his uncle. With his father away, he was lucky to have a male role model in his life such as Diesel, and the way he patted Brady’s back revealed his love for the boy as well.

  His sister’s gaze fell on Selena. In one glance, Selena felt the woman had sized her up, assessed her character and sprouted sympathy for her current situation.

  “Selena, this is my sister Lily and Brady.”

  “Brady!” the boy cried with glee.

  They laughed, and Selena formed the smallest of smiles. How odd it felt to smile at all after a month of misery.

  “Hi, Selena. Why don’t you come inside and sit down?”

  Did Lily see that she felt about to collapse? Those sharp eyes of hers seemed to take in everything.

  “I was about to get this little monster a snack,” she said, taking Brady from Diesel’s arms.

  “Snack!”

  “Go to your mom, champ. I’m going to move my bike.” He gave Lily a pointed look, and she nodded.

  Selena had no idea which side of the world was up or down right now. After spending a month in the mansion and never going out, with no hope of a real life again, she found it difficult to adapt to the day. First, the van ride. After that, arriving at the club and being in Fiona’s bedroom putting on her clothes. Finally, coming to this quiet and peaceful sector of the world seemed completely bonkers.

  She gave herself a little shake and saw that Lily held out a hand to her. “Come on inside, Selena. Judd’s going to park in back.”

  Selena stepped inside and finally drew a full breath.

  Safety.

  Chapter Four

  “Beer?” Lily turned from the refrigerator with a jug of milk in her hand for Brady.

  “Nah, I’ll have what he’s having.”

  She grinned and set the jug on the counter to reach for a sippy cup and a glass. As she poured, she shot him a glance from the corner of her eye. “You better fill me in before Selena comes out of the shower, Judd.”

  She nudged the glass his direction, and he curled his hand around it.

  “Thank you for letting us crash here,” he said quietly.

  “Always.” She screwed the cap onto the sippy cup and handed it to Brady, who sat in a booster seat pushed up to the table. Before him was a small pile of crackers in the shape of penguins, which he stuffed into his mouth by the chubby handful.

  “Slow down, boy!” she admonished, and Brady looked up at her with big brown eyes.

  Diesel chuckled. “He’s looking at you like you’re crazy.”

  “Tell me about it. It’s a daily occurrence. Anyway, enough about us. Talk.” She leaned against the counter and popped one of the crackers into her mouth.

  He drank half his milk and lowered his glass before finding the words. “She’s been held prisoner in a house for a month. I lost contact with her—we had a fight. I thought she was being stubborn, refusing to talk to me, and I gave up after a few weeks.”

  Lily expelled a breath. “Any idea what she went through?”

  He shook his head, guts clenching at the mere thought. “All I know is we need to hide out here a while, as long as you don’t mind. If I think at any point that you and Brady are in danger, we’ll split. I won’t put you through that.”

  She waved a hand as if their safety could never be compromised in this remote home, and he did wonder if she was right. Her husband never would settle his family in a place that wasn’t safe.

  “She looks frail,” Lily said.

  “Fuck”—he pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger—“I hate that someone stripped her strength from her. But I’m determined to help her get it back.” The force of his tone made Brady look up, cheeks bulging with crackers.

  “You’d better chew all those,” Lily told the boy, and he started working his jaws to crush his big mouthful. She returned her attention to Diesel. “Do you think this guy will come after her?”

  “I don’t know if he’s alive.”

  She blinked at him.

  “I guess to make her escape, Selena bashed him over the head with a lamp. She said when she left him, he was unconscious. The world would only be a better place if the motherfucker never wakes up.”

  He heard a click of a door and knew she was emerging from the bathroom, freshly showered and probably wrapped in the bathrobe and pajamas that Lily lent her. It was just past seven in the evening, but if he felt as though he’d lived through five days in one, he could imagine how Selena felt.

  Lily met his stare. She always had the keen ability of reading people’s thoughts, and she read that he was uncertain about whether or not he should check on Selena or if doing so would frighten her. The last thing he wanted to see was her shrinking from him again. The times she’d allowed his touch, and let him hold her in the van, he took as a gift.

  “I’ll see if she’d like something to eat or would rather lie down.” Lily left the kitchen. He heard their voices as they spoke. Then Lily returned with Selena behind her.

  His gaze shot to her. Christ, could she be any more beautiful? Her feminine features and dark blue eyes snared him like a hook in the guts. She’d washed her hair, and it lay damp on the shoulders of the terrycloth robe she wore.

  Her eyes flicked to the milk glass in his hand, and he raised it to her. “Brady and I are having some milk. Do you want some?” he asked.

  She gave a hesitant nod. “Yes, thank you.”

  To busy himself and keep from either roaring with rage or grabbing her and scaring her half to death, he walked to the fridge and retrieved the milk again. After he poured her a glass, he handed it to her, careful to keep his fingers away from hers.

  It was killing him to give her the space she needed. For a month he’d ached to have her back in his arms, and now he couldn’t even hold her unless she gave him a cue that it was all right to do so.

  “Have a seat, Selena.” Thankfully, Lily was as relaxed in speaking to her as she was to anybody. He’d counted on that.

  She sat across from Brady. The boy picked up a cracker and threw it at her.

  “Brady, that’s not nice! We don’t throw food at people.” Lily shot Selena an apologetic look.

  Selena offered the boy a watery semblance of her usual smile and plucked the cracker off the table. She popped it into her mouth and chewed.

  He giggled and picked up another to toss. But as soon as he caught his mother’s glare, he pushed it over the surface to Selena.

  “It’s so nice of you to share your crackers,” she told him.

  Hearing her voice spiked every protective instinct in Diesel. He quickly drank off his milk and set the glass in the sink. When he turned, he found Selena’s gaze on him.

  Her stare plucked at his heartstrings, and he found it hard to breathe for a moment. Their relationship might be over, but he wouldn’t leave her side. He’d protect her and listen to anything she had to tell him. He was dreading asking her questions, but he had to know what he was up against—if her captor would be looking for her and how she got tangled up in the mess to begin with.

  The idea that she was seeing the man ripped his heart out, but he’d deal with whatever she told him. This wasn’t about him right now.

  After she finished a few of the crackers that Brady agreed to share, and her milk too, she settled her attention on Diesel again. He suspected she might be ready to have a private conversation.

  “Thanks for everything, Lily. I think we’re going to sit by the fireplace and talk a while if that’s all right.”

  “Of course. It’s time for Brady to go to bed.”

  His head shot up at the word bed, and Diesel couldn’t help but laugh. He ruffled the boy’s brown hair. “Tomorrow we’ll go fishin’. Sound good?”

  “Yes!” He
threw his arms in the air to be picked up, and Diesel and Selena left the pair to get cleaned up for bed.

  He led her into the small but cozy living room. He took up a corner of the sofa and waited to see where Selena would sit. She chose an overstuffed chair adjacent to him. He tried not to allow the disappointment to snake through him. She was damaged and hurting and scared. He understood.

  But it hurt.

  After she folded her hands in her lap, she looked into his eyes. “Thank you, Judd. For everything.”

  “No need to thank me. I would have done so much more to help.”

  She nodded and directed her stare to her twisted hands.

  “I have to know if he’ll come after you, Selena. Do I need to post my brothers on this property to keep you safe?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. I wish I did. I doubt he’d find me here, and I’m guessing that’s why you chose this place.”

  He nodded.

  “I’ll listen to anything you want to tell me, honey.” His voice dipped low.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but at that moment, Brady raced into the room in a pair of spotted pajamas that zipped up the front.

  “G’night, Unca Judd!” He ran to a big basket of toys in the corner, grabbed a stuffed bear and ran out again.

  When he looked away from the door where his nephew had disappeared, he found Selena staring at him, eyes soft.

  “You’re good with him,” she said.

  “We’re pals.”

  “I remember you talked about coming here to take him fishing, when we were…we were together.”

  Her words slashed his heart. “That’s right.”

  She heaved a sigh that seemed to rattle her narrow shoulders. Lily was right—she was frail.

  “Do you need a hospital, Selena?”

  Her brows slammed together. “No. I’m fine.”

  He arched his brow. “You’re so thin.”

  “It’s my stomach. I think I might have an ulcer.”

  “So you do need a doctor at the very least.”

  “In time, I suppose. Right now, I only need this. Being safe. Quiet. No guards pacing by my room day and night. No…no K-Kenzo.”